Woodland Park Zoo
August 23, 2006

Well, lookee at those faces, they're
All pushed against the glass.
I think I'll try to scare them now
By letting out a blast.

I'll roar and show my fangs a lot
Though they are very yellow.
I wish someone would give some Crest
White Strips to this poor fellow.

What have we here? A meeting of
The Grapevine of the Zoo?
Gazelles, they like to gossip and
The Zebra loves to too.

With eagle eyes they scan their pals,
And look for news with glee.
Heck, if they can't see something good,
They make it up, you see.

I thought this green stuff was new food,
And now I'm not so sure.
It looks a bit like modelling clay
And tastes like cow manure.

I wonder if they played a joke
On me? That's pretty lame.
Cuz I'm the leader of the pack.
And Vip The Great's my name!

So where's the food? I'm starving Ma!
I'll snack upon this wood.
But let me know if keepers bring us
Anything really good.

Like Egg McMuffin, pancakes or
Some fruit and Cheerios.
Variety is the spice of life
As everybody knows.

This place lacks toys, and things for fun.
It really is a shame.
I'm forced to play with silly straw
Instead of a good game.

I wish I had a frisbee
Or ball and baseball bat
A jungle gym, a skipping rope
Now what d'you think of that?

Hey, you up there, oh hear my plea,
My days are drab and long.
I'd like some entertainment please,
To help the time move on.

And if you cannot find a game,
I'd like a small TeeVee,
Or iPod with some rockin' tunes
I like to dance, you see.

My name is Pete. I am The Man,
The King of my domain.
I'm old and yes, I sleep a lot.
I do not like the rain.

My family takes care of me.
Which is only right.
But if they come and wake me up,
They'll get an awful fright!

My eyes are closed and so's my mouth.
They think I'm fast asleep.
Oh boy, they're lucky that the glass
Is thick, or out I'd leap.

Just picture them all jumping back
And running with a scream!
Haha, 'twill never happen but
A guy can always dream.

I wish those folks would go away.
Their voices are too loud.
They're pests and they disturb my nap.
Sheesh, what a noisy crowd.

We'd better find a place that is
More suitable for sleep.
A nest where they can't see us.
No matter how they peep.

Do you ever wish we both
Had a different name?
I'm tired of being Sloth Bear.
The insinuation's lame.

I'd rather be an Awesome Bear
Or maybe Mr. Cuddle.
We could come up with something good.
Let's get into a huddle.